I was getting ready to head out the door and my son, who was two at the time, said to me, “Daddy, where you going?”

“To work,” I replied.

“Why?”

I stopped and thought about it for a moment, trying to come up with an explanation a two year old could understand.

Trying to think of all the possible responses I could come up with, I said, “to help people.”

Now, my two year old asked the question of why to just about everything, but this time his question really got me thinking.

Why do we work?

Certainly, at its most basic form, we work to bring in income.

But don’t we work for more than that?

Maybe we also work to feel productive, contribute to society, feel like our lives matter, or express our talents and gifts.

Maybe all of the above.

While paying our bills is a legitimate reason to work, there is often a deeper reason we want to work.

The Big Mistake

The biggest mistake we make in our careers is to believe our work is about us.

When our work is only serving our own needs it becomes selfish, shallow, and boring.

Our work can often be a wonderful place to use and exhibit our talents and gifts, yet there is a condition.

Our talents and gifts weren’t given to us for admiration or self-actualization, they were given to serve others.

When we switch the focus of our work to serving the needs of others, it takes our work to another level – a more sublime level.

So if you’ve struggled with finding work you like, maybe try looking at your work from another angle.

Who do you want to serve?

Your answer to that question will tell you why you work.

Question: Who do you want to serve with your talents and gifts?

All I knew was that I liked being able to get out of school to go to a nice hotel with free pastries for a day of peer counselor training.

It turned out the training helped us learn some skills to counsel other kids who were dealing with problems they didn’t want to talk about with adults.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, this would be the spark that made me aware of my ability to counsel others and help them solve their problems.

I wish I could say I realized my life’s passion at that moment and everything was downhill from that point. Not so much.

However, being encouraged to use some skills I had never tried before would allow me to explore skills that were linked to my eventual passion.

From that time until now I’ve discovered you need three kinds of skills in order to love your work.

1. Skills you enjoy using. What kinds of tasks do you enjoy? Personally, I don’t enjoy fixing things around the house. If something breaks and I have to get my toolbox my wife gets nervous. (She calls me Cliff Huxtable) However, I love to write about careers and helping people do work they love. Two different skill sets and two different levels of enjoyment. If you don’t enjoy using a particular skill, even if you’re good at it, you’ll still be off the mark in regard to your ideal career.

2. Skills you are competent in using. This past winter our shower was having problems and I tried to fix it. I ended up spending two hours on something that would have probably taken a plumber five minutes to fix. I was soaking wet and frustrated beyond belief. Needless to say I’m not very good with my hands. In order to enjoy a skill you usually need to be fairly competent in using that skill.

3. Skills that are marketable. You can be good at something and you can enjoy doing it, but you must have a customer for that skill. Whether that customer is an employer or someone who purchases directly from you there must be a market for what you provide with your skills.

Be aware that if you only have two of the three components you will still be out of alignment with your ideal career. You must have a combination of all three.

When you find the sweet spot that combines all three components you will experience work that is rewarding and enjoyable. Something very few experience today.

Question: Do you have all three components in your current work? If not, what could you do to get all three?

There are two pieces you need to know and understand in regard to your skills.

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The first piece is knowing the current skills you possess. The second piece has to do with understanding your level of enjoyment using specific skills you currently posses or skills you want to learn in the future.

However, the dilemma is we often don’t really know how to figure out which skills we currently have or want to obtain and enjoy using.  

This could be due to a number of issues.

Some may not have a lot of experience at this point in their career. If you’re just coming into the workforce you really haven’t had a lot of time to try your hand at different tasks to develop a range of skills.

Others may be too hard on themselves. Maybe you think you’re not very skilled in anything – you’re just mediocre. You discount the skills you possess because you don’t feel very good at them in comparison to others.

Maybe you’re not sure what it feels like to enjoy using a skill. Maybe you’ve been in a job that has been a poor fit for you for some time or your exposure to a broad range of skills has been lacking.

If you find yourself in this situation here are four ideas to help you gain greater understanding of your skills:

1. Take an inventory. Take a look at ONet’s Skills Search. It groups skills into skill families and can be a good place to start when you have no clue which skills you have and/or enjoy using. To help you determine which skills you have and/or enjoy using try iseek.org’s assessment. It aligns with the ONet skills search.

2. Ask friends for feedback. As with many things in life, sometimes we’re just too close to the situation to recognize our skills. Take a few friends to lunch (be sure to pick up the tab) and ask them to give you feedback on the skills they see you using well.

3. Pick something and try it. If you’re not sure which skills you may enjoy using in the future, think of an activity (at work or volunteer opportunity) that is outside your current day to day tasks. Then find a way to experiment with that task to use a new skill. For example, if you currently spend most of your day at work focused on numbers and data find an opportunity to attend a community outreach event sponsored by your company where you’ll be focused on people.

4. Use skills you already have in another setting. Maybe you’re a high school teacher who’s burned out, however, you know you still enjoy helping others learn. Find a way to teach adults. Maybe in a night school setting or at a community college. Find out if you still enjoy using your teaching skills in a slightly different environment.

Knowing more about the current skills you posses and the ones you enjoy using are part of the process that leads to finding your passion. It may not solve the riddle for you but it’s the necessary glue to connect the pieces of the mosaic of your passion.

Question: How else might someone gain a greater understanding of their skills?

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Then your immediate response was something like, “oh thank you, but it really wasn’t anything special.”

I know I’ve certainly responded that way at times.

In addition to maybe some false humility, I responded this way because I was unaware of my strengths.

Many of us are unaware of our strengths and what we do well.

This could be due to a variety of factors, but one factor I’m sure of is the influence of our culture’s focus on improving our weaknesses.

We have been told from a very young age to work on making our weaknesses better.

In elementary school through high school what gets circled or checked off on a test? The incorrect answers.

What happens when a child gets a low grade in one or more subjects? Parents pay for tutoring in that subject.

What do many employers focus on during performance reviews? Opportunities for growth (a.k.a. getting better at weaknesses).

I thought this was just the way it was – a necessary evil. You work on some weak area in order to bring it up to par with the areas where you’re doing well.

You’ll be on your way to a happy, healthy, “well-rounded” life.

Then I read Strengthsfinder 2.0 by Tom Rath.

Through the research done by the Gallup organization, Rath found that people who have the opportunity to focus on their strengths every day are six times more likely to enjoy their jobs and more than three times as likely to report they have an excellent quality of life in general.

That’s amazing, especially in light of our culture’s obsession with improving weaknesses.

Admittedly when I first took the Strengthsfinder 2.0 I really liked it and found it fascinating. However, I read my top five strengths, agreed that I’m generally good in those areas, and didn’t look at them again for a couple of years.

Now, I just recently printed out my top five strengths and taped them to the wall in my office where I will see them every day. When I’m faced with a decision about a career opportunity to pursue I check it against my strengths to make sure I would be honoring those areas.

My top five strengths are:

1. Learner – People who are especially talented in the Learner theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them.

2. Context – People who are especially talented in the Context theme enjoy thinking about the past. They understand the present by researching its history.

3. Belief – People who are especially talented in the Belief theme have certain core values that are unchanging. Out of these values emerges a defined purpose for their life.

4. Responsibility – People who are especially talented in the Responsibility theme take psychological ownership of what they say they will do. They are committed to stable values such as honesty and loyalty.

5. Consistency – People who are especially talented in the Consistency theme are keenly aware of the need to treat people the same. They try to treat everyone in the world with consistency by setting up clear rules and adhering to them.

What about you? What are you strengths? Are you able to focus on your strengths every day in your work?

You can begin operating in your strengths in your work by taking these three steps:

1. Buy the Strengthsfinder 2.0 book, read it, and take the test.

2. Check your top five strengths against your current job. How do the responsibilities of your job compare to your strengths? Are you utilizing your best talents everyday?

3. Develop an action plan to maximize your strengths in your current job. Or find another opportunity that is more in alignment with your strengths.

The more you know about yourself and what you do well you will be able to make better informed decisions. Which will in turn provide you with more opportunities to be intentional about your life and career.

Question: If you’ve taken the Strengthsfinder 2.0 what are your strengths? If you haven’t taken it, what questions do you have about the instrument?

After taking one or both you may be wondering which is better.

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I’d like to suggest there may be a different way to approach both assessments. Rather than ask, “which is better” ask, “what do each have to offer?”

Here’s my high level review of what each has to offer.

What They Identify

DISC identifies predictable actions and personality traits within human behavior while the MBTI identifies personal preferences in human perception and judgement. So they both measure characteristics of your personality but they approach it in slightly different ways.

DISC measures self-reported observable behavior – or how you would act in a particular situation. The MBTI measures your core personality – how you are naturally wired regardless of your environment or circumstances.

The difference is subtle, but it is an important difference.

User Friendly

How user friendly is each assessment? Both can be taken manually or online so taking them is pretty easy. They both provide a multipage .pdf report that covers your specific personality.

Generally the DISC results are easier to comprehend right away, but they don’t get into the details of your personality. Whereas the MBTI results rely on having a small amount of knowledge of the theory the instrument is based on. Also it can be more difficult to remember your personality type six months later if you haven’t been reviewing it.

Accuracy

According to the MBTI manual, about 75% of people agree with their MBTI results.

About 2/3 of people come out the same if they retake the assessment. Of those people 93% have 3 out of the 4 personality dimensions the same. DISC is considered a very reliable and valid instrument as well. Although I don’t have a specific percentage, a very high percentage of people receive the same results if they take it more than once. For those of you who might be really into this stuff you can view the DISC validity and reliability report here.

Supplemental Information

Each of the assessment reports can provide additional information beyond just your personality results. DISC can provide you with a description of your general style and give it a name, such as Advisor, Developer, Persuader, etc. You can also get a list of historical and/or Biblical people who shared your personality.

The DISC report can provide you with a communication guide for your personality, both how you can communicate better and how others can communicate better with you. It can also include sections on how to navigate the workplace, your strengths in leadership, and types of careers your personality may enjoy.

The MBTI has multiple types of reports that can be provided that will be based on your personality type results. You can receive a basic report with just your results, a career report, communication style report, conflict style report, decision making style report, and a stress management report. Each of the reports has a different focus but they are all based on your personality type results.

The career report provides you with your personality type, your preferred work tasks, preferred work environment, and action steps you can take to enhance your career.

Also, this report provides information about how your type affects your career exploration and career development. It also provides a list about the types of jobs people with this type have reported enjoying and ranks them by their reported popularity among your type.

 My Thoughts

I really like both assessments. I like the DISC assessment because it’s easy to understand right away and you’re more likely to remember which style was your dominant style. I like the MBTI for it’s thorough explanation of the complexity of human personality. I find that each assessment can compliment the other and if possible I recommend taking both to get a full picture of your personality.

However, if I were forced to choose just one instrument to recommend I would choose the MBTI. I feel that it does a better job of providing a more detailed view of the complexity of our personalities.

I’ve experienced the transforming effect of the MBTI myself as well as observed others take action based on their results to make their careers and lives better.

Ultimately that’s the goal regardless of the assessment you use.

Question: Which one do you like better, the MBTI or DISC? Why?

(If you’re interested in taking the MBTI or DISC you can buy them here.)

However, sometimes it can feel like personality assessments raise more questions than provide answers.

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Which is the best one to take? Is it going to say I have the worst personality you can have? How in the world will this help me get a better job? Don’t circumstances dictate how I behave sometimes?

In 2005 I was really struggling with not enjoying my job (actually I was struggling prior to that but I didn’t take any action until 2005) so I quit. I went to see a career coach and one of the things she had me do was take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).

The results showed my type as INFJ and after a lot of thought and self-observation I determined the INFJ type fit me exactly.

Taking the MBTI was the cornerstone I needed to begin to figure out who I was, my strengths, my weaknesses and how I could apply those in a work setting.

Now I provide all my clients with a personality assessment depending on their needs. It may be the MBTI, DISC, or Strengthsfinder 2.0. Sometimes all three.

If you’re struggling to figure out the kind of work you’ll love I really recommend starting with a personality assessment.

Even if you’re not struggling with your work I highly recommend taking a personality assessment.

Here are five reasons you should take a personality assessment:

1. It will increase your self-awareness. Self-awareness is the key to unlocking the type of work that fits you best. In addition, self-awareness allows you to be able to more effectively communicate with and influence others. Those who lead truly successful lives, and not just at work, are highly self-aware. They’ve taken the time to figure out exactly who they are and how to leverage their design in all aspects of their lives.

2. It will help you know your strengths. We live in a culture that promotes improving things you’re not very good at. Don’t believe me? Ask any elementary school student what gets pointed out on their papers? Their mistakes or their correct answers? Yet, we are all good at something or many things. If we know what those things are we can put our energy and time into being exceptional in those areas instead of being mediocre in an area we struggle with.

3. It will help you know your weaknesses. We all have blind spots. No matter how you slice it, we just aren’t good at everything and we aren’t always objective in judging our own actions. When you know your weaknesses you can avoid situations, jobs, and relationships that prevent you from using the very best parts of you. Then you can find others who excel in the area of your weaknesses to help you out.

4. It will help you create a filter to find the right type of work for you. Knowing your personality helps you edit and filter the infinite number of opportunities and paths you can choose in your work. Although we may not be able to be anything we want to be we can be more of who we already are. Having the results of a personality assessment is like having a compass. It doesn’t tell you where to go but you can use it to make sure you’re heading in the right direction.

5. You will be better able to read other people. The first step is to understand yourself. The next step is to understand others. When you begin to understand how other personality types operate you can communicate more effectively with them, predict their typical behavior, and understand why they do that thing that drives you crazy (hint: it’s not personal).

Although a personality assessment can’t explain everything you’d want to know about yourself it can explain a lot. The path to enjoying your work begins with understanding who you are. A personality assessment is a great tool to help you do just that.

Question: What other benefits do you think a personality assessment might provide?

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Then in 1967 Philip struck oil in Wyoming which allowed him to buy up the surrounding oil leases on credit. Things were really good.

However, one day a spark set all the oil fields on fire.

With oil fields engulfed in flames most people would have been frozen with hopelessness.

However, rather than dwell on the certain bankruptcy that was awaiting him, Philip Anschutz looked for the opportunity this fire had presented.

At about this same time Universal Pictures just happened to be shooting a movie called Hellfighters. This movie starred John Wayne as Paul “Red’ Adair the legendary oil-field fire fighter.

Digital special effects weren’t possible back then, so the movie production studio needed some footage of a real oil field on fire.

Philip Anschutz contacted Universal Pictures and cut a deal with them to film his fiery oil fields for $100,000.

Now Anschutz had the money to hire the real Red Adair to put the fires out.

The Wyoming oil fields went on to make him lots of money and Philip Anschutz sold his oil fields to Mobil for half a billion dollars in 1982. He began buying railroads and started laying fiber optic cables along his rail lines.

He then began investing in entertainment companies, co-founding Major League Soccer in the U.S. and now owns stakes in the Los Angeles Lakers, Los Angeles Kings and venues including the Staples Center, O2 Arena, and the Home Depot Center. He also invests in films such as The Chronicles of Narnia.

In 2010 Forbes ranked him the 34th richest person in the U.S. with an estimated net worth of $7 billion.

How many times have you felt hopeless or even angry when misfortune struck you?

Have you ever felt like circumstances have created a hopeless situation for you?

What does this turn of events make possible for you now?

Maybe you were recently laid off or had a business failure. Or perhaps you’ve been doing the same type of work for a number of years but feel stuck and don’t know what else you want to do.

Life can deal us trials and suffering, but those who are on the look out for opportunities in those misfortunes can see them more quickly than others.

When you set your sights on looking for opportunities no one else sees you are bound to find them.

It’s kind of like when you buy a particular kind of car you begin to see them on the road everywhere. They were always there you just weren’t looking for them.

Although you may feel hopeless in your current work situation, try to look at this time in your life as an opportunity to re-evaluate what is important to you. Not only in your career but in your life as well.

Sometimes feeling discontent is the motivation we need to begin looking for better ways to live and work.

Question: What are some ways we can use a crisis to springboard us to higher levels of success?

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In high school Gary was always in the auto shop classroom and never in the library. He was that guy.

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However, when the time came he thought he needed to go to college in order to get a good job.

He went through college hating every minute of it, wishing he could spend more time refurbishing the 1969 Chevy pickup waiting in the garage at home.

After graduating from college with a low GPA and a headache, Gary went looking for a job.

With no real direction, Gary took the first job he could get because he knew somebody who worked there and they got him the job.

Gary was pretty miserable most days. Working in a cubicle, sitting in front of a computer screen, and doing work that he was not designed to do well.

The trouble was Gary couldn’t see a way out. He thought he was on a career path for life and there were no exit doors.

Sound familiar?

Unfortunately, this is an all too common way to choose the type of work we do.

For those who don’t like what they do I’ve noticed three typical factors in how they chose their work.

• They chose work that just pays the bills and didn’t think about whether or not they liked it.  
• They chose work they thought they might be good at or other people told them they were good at doing. 
• They chose work based on the kinds of work models and industries they were exposed to and were easily available to them (i.e. corporate employee, government, manufacturing, agricultural, self-employment, etc.) 

The problem is we often choose a career based on short term needs and overlook our ability to be intentional about our careers. Trust me, I know supporting ourselves and/or a family are absolutely important needs – short term or not.

However, when it’s time to make decisions about the type of work we want, we have the pressure of short term needs combined with the lack of personal insight needed to be intentional about our career.

Like Gary, we can feel stuck in a job or career path with no hope of something better. So what do we do?

If you’re in this situation I encourage you to look at your current work as a stepping stone to something greater.

The work you hate now could be planting a seed that will blossom into enjoyable work in the future.

Take this time to look inward at who you are and pay attention to what you’ve learned about yourself with your current work situation.

You may have only discovered what you don’t like, but that is part of the process of finding your passion and ultimately finding work you love.

Gary’s now working toward moving into a career he will love. He’s grown a lot and he is more sure of what he wants to do every day. And yes you guessed it, he’ll be working with cars.

Question: How do you think most people choose their careers?

[box type=”shadow”] If You Feel Like Gary Try This Exercise: 

Write down ten things you’ve learned about yourself as a result of doing the work you’re doing now? Then go through your career history and do this for each job you’ve held.

• What types of activities energized you?
• Which activities drained you?
• What is something you’re really proud of accomplishing in your work thus far?
• Was there a time when you failed in your work? What lessons did you learn from that? [/box]

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I know that may sound like a really strange question.

You might be thinking, what do you mean by “supposed to be doing?”

Most discussions about what you want to do in your career don’t revolve around this question.

Here’s what I mean.

If you ask a friend what they were supposed to be when they grew up you’ll likely get a response like:

“I was supposed to go to medical school and become a doctor.”

“My mother wanted me to be a full time stay at home mom.”

“I was supposed to go into the plumbing business with my Dad.”

“My parents didn’t care what I did as long as I made a lot of money.”

“I was supposed to get my MBA and climb the corporate ladder.”

In her book “I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was” Barbara Sher says this is an interesting question,

“Because even if you can’t figure out what you want to be doing, you probably know exactly what you’re supposed to be doing.”

The problem is we often have trouble figuring out the type of work we want to do because we’re trying to please the person who told us what we were supposed to be doing.

We are all influenced for better or worse by so many external factors.

We are each part of a family, neighborhood, community, and culture who influence us.

All of those influencers have an impact on how we shape our decisions when it comes to our careers.

Often we can’t even pinpoint who we’re trying to please, we just know there was an expectation of us to do something that fit within the mold of what it means to work where you come from.

Now let me say that not all influencers are bad. In fact, most of the people in your life were probably well intentioned. They truly wanted what was best for you.

However, their guidance likely was targeted toward things that worked for them or they thought would have been better for them.

Maybe a parent or influential adult had done well in a corporate position and they knew you could do the same even though you hate staring at a computer screen all day. Or perhaps they always wanted to be a jazz pianist but never ventured into that area so they put you in piano lessons even though your hands felt like potatoes pounding on the keys.

The key to enjoying your work is to be able to know yourself well enough to know what makes your heart sing.

Unfortunately most of the people around us aren’t tuned in to listening to us or paying attention to what we do well. I mean can you blame them? It’s hard enough to figure it out ourselves let alone for someone else.

It’s not their fault and it’s not your fault. There’s no one to blame here. It’s just the way it is.

However, it’s absolutely essential that you figure out if what you’re doing now is in alignment with who you are.

Does it bring out the best of your personality?

Does it allow you to use your greatest talents and skills?

Does it connect with what you value and what you’re passionate about?

If it doesn’t, then I’m afraid you’ve got some work to do.

But don’t be afraid of hard work. Be afraid of working at something and succeeding in something that means nothing to you. That would be the greatest travesty of all.

Question: So tell me, what were you supposed to be doing with your career?

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(Note:Some of the links in the post are affiliate links)

Ultimately, choosing a career direction comes down to one thing.

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What do you want to do?

That’s it.

You can take all the personality assessments in the world, go through tons of exercises, and work with coaches.

However, when all is said and done you have to make a choice and move toward a goal.

You may say, “but I still don’t know what I want to do”.

That may be, however, my hunch is you actually have some ideas but you’re talking yourself out of them.

These are what Howard Figlar calls your “yes, buts”.

Yes, I’d really like to do X but you see I can’t because…

The challenge is your “yes, buts” may be very legitamate.

You may have some major obstacles in your path to doing what you love to do.

Yet at some point, you need to take your “yes, buts” out, dust them off, look at them, set them on the shelf, and make a decision to find solutions to overcome them..

Sometimes your “yes, buts” have been so scary you never wanted to look at them.

I would encourage you to not only look at them but examine them to their fullest extent.

Feel the fear.

Then start doing two things.

1) Get more information on your problem. Let’s say you want to be a dentist but you don’t know how you’ll feed your family while you spend years in dental school and not go into a mountain of debt. You’re not the first person to ever face this dilemma. Find a dentist who had the same problem but overcame it. They are out there. It may take some work, but you’ll find someone you can talk to and ask how they did it. This goes for pretty much every type of career and situation you can think of.

2) Create solutions and implement them. In the previous example you may have found someone who was in the exact same position you are in now. You may discover there are certain dental schools where you can go part-time while you work or schools that offer financial assistance. Maybe you’ll need to move to a cheaper place to live for a time. Maybe you’ll decide to save up for dental school and go in 5 years. I don’t know.

It really boils down to asking yourself how bad you want something, what creative solutions will help you get there, and what cost are you willing to pay?

Nobody said this would be easy.

But you can do this.

We live in a wonderful nation. Full of freedom and opportunities.

The solutions are there if you look hard enough.

Use your creativity and your enthusiasm for a new career in this process.

Can you see it?

You’ll get there and you’ll love it.

Question: Have you ever found a solution to an obstacle in your life you never thought you’d figure out?

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